“The real poverty in a woman’s life is, not being able to experience happiness and content by herself but to depend on others”

Despite becoming financially independent, many women do not experience complete happiness. Emotionally, some still find it hard to stand strong on their own. Relying too much on others can make them lose their happiness and inner strength.

Many women end up giving up on their dreams and settling for less when they can’t handle their emotions independently.

Today, let’s talk about this issue and understand the signs and symptoms of emotional dependency.

The real meaning of being emotionally independent:

Let’s first understand what being emotionally dependent means.

Emotional dependency is a state of mind, where an individual cannot generate certain positive emotions by themselves and depend on others to provide them.

Some examples from women I have interacted with,

A lot of women don’t feel confident enough to make their decisions, they depend on others to validate those decisions.
A lot of women suffer from self-doubt and they seek motivation and encouragement externally.
In relationships, women often expect their partners to bring them joy or make them feel special constantly as it makes them feel secure in a relationship. Here one person in the relationship struggles to feel secure by themselves so they depend on the other to feel good.

Therefore being emotionally independent means having the ability to generate diverse emotions by oneself and not be dependent on others.

We can say a woman is emotionally independent if she can feel happy and content by herself even when she is alone. Or be able to make her decisions confidently without anyone’s validation, or be able to stay self-motivated and find clarity and peace by herself.

Also, being emotionally independent means you can experience higher emotional states like Abundance, Freedom, Adventure, Decisiveness, Playfulness ambition, etc.

Emotionally independent women can generate these emotions effortlessly without anyone’s help. They become unstoppable and unhindered in life.

But how did we learn to be emotionally dependent on others in the first place?

Wrong societal teachings one acquires growing up.

Women often grow up with the notion that external sources, especially relationships, should provide constant emotional fulfillment. The belief that others are responsible for making us happy or content is deeply rooted in our minds.

For several generations, pan -Indian cinemas have also been glorifying the idea that a man must make a woman special

But in reality, being emotionally dependent on others does more harm to both individuals in a relationship.

The inability of a woman to produce happiness and contentment by herself should be considered no less than poverty.

It is a poverty of emotions.

While financial poverty can rob you of the happiness that comes from fulfilling desires, emotional poverty can rob you of your life itself.

Here are some of the signs to know if you are being emotionally dependent.

Fear of Abandonment: An enduring concern that others may leave you. This may cause your insecurity and anxiety.
Inferiority Complex: A sense of not being good enough for others, leading to diminished self-esteem.
Obsessive Fear of Loss: Overwhelming worry about losing important people in your life.
Jealousy or Possessiveness: Feelings of envy or an intense need to control others.
Constant Reassurance: A persistent need for affirmation from others to validate your self-worth and significance.
Loneliness: A pervasive sense of isolation, even when surrounded by others, leading to feelings of disconnection.
Need for Affection: A strong reliance on external sources for emotional comfort and affection.
Fear of Rejection: A continuous fear of being turned away or not being accepted.
Decision-Making Challenges: Difficulty making choices independently, often rooted in a fear of making the wrong decisions.
External Validation: Seeking others to bolster your self-esteem, confidence, and sense of worth.
Dependency on Others for Meaning: Believing that your life lacks purpose and significance without the involvement of others.

Symptoms of emotional dependency and how it impacts your life.

1. Emotional dependency creates problems in relationships:

When you rely heavily on your partner, parents, or friends for emotional support and validation, it can create pressure and stress for them. The burden of constantly meeting your emotional needs can be overwhelming and draining them energetically.

Also when you are emotionally dependent on someone, you often have high expectations on them to make you happy. When those expectations aren’t met, it can lead to disappointment, resentment, and dissatisfaction in the relationship. This may add more tension and strain to the relationship causing the relationship to break

2. Emotional dependency stunts your personal growth.

When you are emotionally dependent on others, you can only experience a certain range of low or negative emotions like stress, insecurity, doubt, confusion, indecision, depression, loneliness, etc.

Emotions have a great impact on our daily lives. Our emotions pave the way for thoughts, thoughts lead to actions and actions lead to results.

Experiencing only negative emotions can lead to undesirable results leading to more stress and unhappiness.

The focus on seeking approval and support from others may prevent you from exploring your interests, goals, and passions.

If you’ve not been growing in your career or you lack purpose in life, it is because you are stuck in the loop of negative emotions.

You will grow in your career when you can break out of this loop and feel higher emotions like ambition, adventure, and freedom.

3. Emotional dependency can cause health problems.

The truth about emotions not many know is that they influence our well-being in various ways.

According to Siddha Yoga, you can remain youthful and healthy as long as you want if you use emotions positively.

However experiencing negative emotions like stress, depression, self-doubt, etc., for a long period can lead to faster cell damage, painful diseases, and eventually death.

But experiencing positive emotions like Adventure, freedom, Decisiveness, etc leads to faster healing and rejuvenation of body cells.

One can even reverse age if they have a positive mindset.

If you identify with one or more of the signs and symptoms, it is not your fault.

Even though you got yourself into this state of mind due to various societal teachings, you only struggle to get out of this due to a severe lack of energy in your body.

But how does energy affect your emotional state? And how do you cultivate energy to become emotionally independent in life?

If you are curious to know more, write “Curious” in the comments below and I’ll soon publish the 2nd part.

Are you being emotionally independent or dependent on others? Here are 11 Clear signs to look for.